Looks like I won't be sleeping alone tonight.
Happy Tuesday, everyone.
A former Clinton administration staffer
claims that Hillary was so detested
that she was known as a Nazi school marm.
I think we have a shot of the staffer here.
Meanwhile, administrators in Pennsylvania are investigating how a kindergartner was able
to hand out jello shots to his classmates.
The outraged principal saying, we don't tolerate that kind of behavior here at Kamala Harris
Elementary School.
after finishing second to a trans athlete.
Yeah, yeah, you can tell she's a real girl
because she's bad at math.
Oh, sexist will say.
Tricked all of you.
Former FBI Director James Comey denied calling
for the assassination of Trump and claims he's, quote,
just a grandfather who likes wearing sweaters, jeans,
and going for nice walks on the beach.
Wow, somebody's auditioning for the Golden Bachelor.
All right.
Several states are taking action against lab-grown meat.
At least one state, though, has made it legal
for lab-grown meat to have its own show.
I call him LGM.
The Department of Homeland Security conducted
its first self-deport operation,
dubbed Project Homecoming,
since the name Operation F***ing Off was already taken.
And finally, when Sean Diddy-Cohm surrendered to federal agents last year, they found baby
oil, lubricant, ketamine, MDMA, clonopin, and $9,000 in cash in his hotel room.
In his defense, he says he was just holding it for this man.
Brett Bear, everybody.
I love me some, I love me some Brett Bear.
Thank you, Brett.
All right so the Biden book original sin is finally out and so are the reviews.
According to Politico it describes Biden as a quote ailing geriatric leader surrounded by
mendacious aides. While the Washington Post details an elderly egotistical president
shielded from reality by a slavish coderay.
of loyalists. Never said that word before.
So ailing, mendacious, egotistical,
and that's from media outlets that spent four years
smooching Biden's wrinkly ass.
They were so far up his butt,
I'm surprised they didn't diagnose the cancer.
Thank you, enough.
But does this book tell the whole story?
Because even as the media is just now admitting
this scandal was real, we know they're complicit.
They took their own sweet time addressing
the greatest fraud in presidential history,
waiting till now, of course, to spill the beans.
Oh, sure, the media could have made an honest mistake,
like when they said Hunter's laptop was fake,
or the fine people hoax was real,
or that Tim Walts has a penis.
But what if the Biden cover-up was by design, orchestrated to protect not the president,
but to enable a radical agenda?
Anyone could tell Joe was feeble.
But what if Biden's decline wasn't caused by disability, but by debility, meaning he
was purposely kept exhausted, confused, and miserable, like an overnight shift worker
or a Fox and Friends viewer?
He was unfit, but it wasn't treated. It was welcomed
Speeches events and overseas trips took their toll on Biden
He became unable to function while his staff controlled his schedule to protect him or so we thought
They could have easily told the world,
hey, this guy's no longer the man he used to be,
let's practice what we preach, country over party.
Instead, they treated him like Colonel Tom Parker
treated Elvis, kept him full of meds
and continued to push him out in front of live audiences
in bright lights.
The only difference being when Elvis forgot the words
to Hound Dog, it didn't endanger the lives
of everybody in the audience.
Letting Joe fade was the perfect crime,
because his condition made him docile.
It's like when you exhaust your dog with a long walk
before you have guests over.
I don't want Gus humping Dana Perino's leg.
Or for that matter, vice versa.
So, the story isn't just the cover-up of Joe's incapacity, it's why.
And yes, they didn't want America to know they pulled a giant horrible prank on them
in 2020, and they also didn't want to get massacred in 2024, but the fact is, a debilitated
Biden was an ideal Biden, and enfeebled boss meant the underlings could do exactly what
they wanted.
I'm certain that's why my staffers insist I eat an entire turkey for dinner.
and then make me watch special report.
But it solves the paradox of the last four years.
How did a candidate promoted as a reasonable centrist
end up as the most radically progressive president in history?
The one who let our border dissolve,
crime explode, and men invade women's spaces.
It's simple. His stability was not a bug in the system. It was the system.
An absent president meant others had control of the reins, and the signs are there,
like the absurd number of people granted clemency, or the orgy of auto-pand EOs.
What, you think they nailed Gun the Auto-Pand to Joe's hand while he was
out like a light dreaming of corn pop and cannibals?
So now,
They want to talk about Biden's health?
Sorry, the jig is up.
They can't pretend they're compassionate caregivers
protecting a fragile leader when we now know
how the policies under Joe were anything but feeble.
Biden was a mess, but the policies
were a coherent wish list for the woke.
The Freaks running the show knew exactly
what they were doing.
Sure, their decisions were horrible and destructive,
but they were also deliberate and no product of dementia.
which makes it way worse than criminal, it's treason.
They exploited an unhealthy, elderly man,
and we can't let them get away with it.
So yeah, it's tragic, Joe, as cancer,
but the people who propped him up for four years,
they are a cancer,
and it's time they got the treatment they deserve.
Let's welcome you tonight's guests.
He's always surprised when his act gets laughed.
Actor, writer, comedian, JB Lissau.
If her name got any more Irish her name would be Guinness Potato Famine Republican strategist Aaron McGuire
Doing our show gives him an opportunity to pee indoors studio stounder of studio DSD.com Michael Optus
And if you watch her on MTV your due for a colonoscopy host of the Kennedy State's world podcast Kennedy
Jamie you're used to your ex wife running the show. Yeah, was this situation all orchestrated? Was it really Joe's fault at all?
I don't know you making a point there. Maybe it was not his fault at all. I read the book
I think it's a great title you have read the book
Yeah, cuz think about what a good idea cuz it's called the original sin and did you know that Joe Biden's first job was a gardener in
Eden
Yeah, and I this by this I'm a fan of I love a book about Joe being mentally incapacitated while being a president
It's part of the super obvious series by this publisher
Looking forward to the other two books. They got one coming out called the earth is round and another one called the view sucks
And what did you take away from the release of original sin
Well, the original sin was the choice by the Democrat Party to lie to the American people
about the man they propped up to be president of the United States.
I worked on the 2020 campaign for President Trump.
We regularly said he is an empty vessel being filled by the radical left.
And whoopsie poopsie, we happen to be completely correct because Ron Klain, his chief of staff
who was still in that inner sanctum as Joe Biden fell apart, was pursuing incredibly aggressive,
And when we all stood up in 2020 and pointed out the obvious not only about his decline, but about the radical left
We were shouted down on network after network and now when people get book deals
It's so easy to all of a sudden state the obvious and be okay with that being in print Aaron. I just have to stop you right there
Did you really just say whoopsie poopsie?
I, I mean, I don't think in my career,
anybody has ever said whoopsie poopsie on my show.
Glad I could be the first, I feel honored.
Where did that, is that from your childhood,
or whoopsie poopsie?
Yeah, you know, just a little rhyme,
little turn of phrase.
Whoopsie poopsie.
That's absolutely. You're welcome,
you can keep that one.
I'm gonna steal it.
Whoopsie poopsie.
That was.
Loftus.
You know, Poopsie Poopsie was my rap name in college
Woopsie Poopsie is like a product for incontinence for elderly rappers
It's the Joe Biden underwear line when you laugh suffer from whoopsie Poopsie
Are you president of the United States? You know you were
You got to feel some kind of chagrin.
You know, you were saying right up front,
early on that Biden was incapacitated
and everyone at the soup kitchen laughed at you.
They did.
Yes.
They did, and I didn't like that.
Yeah.
I took my shopping cart and I just went out
to the sidewalk and I went home.
Yes.
Yeah, I don't like, I'm not gonna buy the book.
No.
If I want a joke trapper to lie to me,
I can just watch it on TV.
The guy like it's it's a farce that he wants now to charge people money to listen up
I was tricked. I was fooled. We thought he was fine
And here's the other thing that I want to know where was the GOP on this mm-hmm
You got yet the speaker of the house now going yeah, Joe totally forgot about signing an executive order
He was he dude. There's an owner's manual
The Founding Fathers put the 25th Amendment in there.
You can go, hey, look, that guy's a mental case.
We should maybe do a switcheroo on that.
It's, uh, it's madness.
It is madness.
Total madness.
Extreme madness.
It's the kind of madness that makes you say whoopsie poopsie.
Kennedy Z, I get a second dose of you in one day. You were just on the five. It was delightful.
It is clear that while Biden was a mess, the policy wasn't. That's so interesting to me.
We sat there and go like everything's falling apart, but there was a lot of policy that was hard left.
There was a lot of policy that we didn't like, but it was very cohesive if you're looking at a group of people who are entirely progressive.
Inflation reduction act that had nothing to do with inflation reduction. That was all a big climate bill
Yes, and and that's exactly what they were doing with every executive order
It was just a new way to push forward their political agenda that was very very far to the left
And now they conveniently want you to move past that
Unfortunately the people who put that entire Biden system in place. They're still in power, you know Hakeem Jeffries
He met with the president
He knew how far in decline he was.
So did Chuck Schumer, but it benefited them
because they were in power
at the beginning of the Biden administration.
You know, you also had Jill Biden and she got all the stuff.
She got the gowns and the ball and the jet.
She got everything.
James and Hunter.
Joe's brother and son they got rich when there was a threat of the Biden presidency in the ultimate power play
That's when the grift went off Jill didn't do that. She waited patiently and once she got there
She wasn't going to let it go and guess what Joe is a narcissistic blowhard as well
He got to be president and that's all he ever wanted was to be on the place mat
Really close to his best friend Barack Obama just one inconvenient guy in between them. Yeah
And so they all built the system together.
They knew what they were doing.
And when the Jenga piece was pulled out,
which was the last shred of his memory
and cognitive function, and the whole thing fell apart,
guess who was the moderator at the debate
where he imploded?
Jake Tapper.
Yes.
And you know what we say to that?
Whoopsie poopsie.
Yeah, I'm never going to let you forget that.
Up next, why does Hillary hate moms?
A story in five words.
Hillary still pollutes ears, eyes.
very blatant effort to basically send a message most exemplified by Vance and Musk and others
That you know what we really need from you women are more children, which is sort of odd because
The people who produce the most children in our country are immigrants and they want to deport them
So none of this adds up. What advice do you have the first female president of the United States?
Well
First of all, don't be a handmaiden to the patriarchy which kind of eliminates every
woman on the other side of the aisle except for very few.
So Erin, that was Hillary at a talk in Manhattan earlier this month.
When when Martha Martha is that her name Margaret Hoover asked her that question about what do you have it was it was a
Beautiful day. Did you see Hillary? Like what advice would you give to the first woman president? And it's like it's like it's not you
Whoopsie poopsie Hillary
Yep, shouldn't have said that early in the A black belt.
We're gonna ride through the show with it.
Hillary Clinton has never understood
a Republican woman like me,
and she's clearly not trying to change
that pattern of behavior whatsoever.
She doubles down on this, talking about the patriarchy
and not bending the knee and the nuclear family
and how that's such an antithetical thing.
will actually strong families provide better outcomes for kids and less dependence on government services.
Children do better in a two-parent household.
They have better educational outcomes, they have better career outcomes, they have better mental health outcomes.
And so for her to try and then, this is what Democrats don't understand.
They actually hate the idea of the nuclear family because it can
decrease the dependence on government,
which gives them power, versus us,
who believe a nuclear family and strong family substance,
even if you say whoopsy poopsie in your family,
they'll make the country better.
I see a new show, whoopsy poopsie,
hosted by Aaron McGuire.
Kennedy, you know what the great thing about Hillary
and people forget?
That she's closer to death than you are?
Yes, well, I'm not so sure of that, but.
She hates women and women hate her yeah, she is not never she's it's only until recently
That she's become like this like feminist icon, but she said she hates ladies
It's not the good feminism though
It's not inspiring feminism because
Feminism actually works when you impealed when you appeal to women with an empowering message
When you let them know like you got this you can overcome odds and when you're inspiring and you ignite something in them that you know
They thought the the patriarchy had extinguished long ago. It doesn't work when you hate men
Yeah, it also doesn't work when you hate women
Yeah, but she pulls off a miraculous trick where she despises both groups of people and she's all she's left with is
This regret and anger and bitterness and so that
little event they had at the 92nd Street Y here in New York.
It was like a third full.
Like she couldn't even fill the room
because no one wants to hear that tired old drivel.
And that's why I love that Margaret Hoover line.
Yeah.
Because it's like, she, nothing pains her more
than you know another woman is going to be president.
A woman who is likable and more capable and less bitter.
And likely a Republican I would assume because.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you why.
This is a reason why I think trans to cold and Democrats,
they hate men and women,
but for some reason they're like men who say they're women,
which is so strange.
Loftus, it doesn't bother you that like they attribute all men to the patriarchy and you are nowhere near the patriarchy
living on the streets
Eating eating throwaway food out of a tin. I know they won't let me back into the patriarchy
neighborhood
It's sad. I need a new cardboard sign with a heartfelt message. Yeah, please. Please donate to the patriarchy. That's what you
I just don't like it when Hillary talks about sex in any way, shape, or form.
Yes.
It's like the biggest boner killer for a nation.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's birth control.
She really is.
Like if you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours, look at that.
It's not.
It's not good. That's why no one's mad at Bill, right? When Bill was with Monica, it was like seriously you guys
Have you seen Hillary?
She looks like George Soros in a wig
It's not good. I don't think
This is why we're having a population collapse right now.
Right?
Hey, there's a causation there.
The Clintons came around, Hillary was on TV, we stopped banging as a nation.
Remember when she collapsed in New York that time?
I think that's because she accidentally saw a wiener.
She was like, just take me to a van, I can't, I can't walk.
Oh.
Ugh.
So, Jamie, it wasn't even a real opinion.
Like it was a sign to her, like the handmaiden of the patriarchy.
It's like she got that off some like brochure from a women's college.
Yeah, I'm starting to not like her.
Yeah, she's, by the way, man, I'd give anything to have a third full audience.
Loftus is so right though like how can you fall like you know, you're a bad bad woman when your husband cheats on you with a dress I
Have bags under my eyes, but I've never felt better about the bags under my eyes
I flew Spirit Airlines on the way here they charge me $20 to check the bags under my eyes
I don't want her talking about sex women and I think that's
it's a personal thing you know I don't even like when like
when you're like a new couple and like you said I remember my
mom like saying to me when I was about to get married like
are you guys thinking about having kids I don't even think
you should ask that because I would be like my mom going
hey are you guys thinking about next time you have sex are
you thinking about just inside.
You know if you decide to mean your great aunt would love to
know.
Thank you, Jamie, for that incredible visual. Yeah, I think I made my point
Yeah, you did make your point and I do know your aunt and I do know your mother so now it makes it even more clear to my head
All right, whoopsie poopsie
It had someone had to say I know every segment up next a thousand bucks to scram
If you'll be in the New York area and would like tickets to see Gut Belt, go to foxnews.com
slash Gut Belt and click on the link to join our studio audience.
Five more words.
It's true, illegals are self-deporting.
Kennedy DHS has conducted the first self-deportation mission
flying 64 illegal immigrants out of Texas
to Honduras and Columbia.
They chose to self-deport and in exchange,
they get a grand and then they're allowed one day
to return to America.
So I love that this is working, but it's still,
it's our money, 64 grand.
But it's a lot less of our money.
That's the thing.
That's the problem with these contentious issues is that no one really does a deep dive on the data and figures out
How much it's really going to cost to come up with an alternative?
That's why people really hate Trump because he thinks about things in a different way
Whereas both parties are entrenched in the same way of spending money and raising taxes and lying to us
You know every once in a while you have some good well
Instead of rounding them all up and like the police force and you know the National Guard, whatever it would take to do that
Like that's really impractical. What if you give people a simple choice? Yeah, what if you say
Life here if you are deemed a criminal is going to be so unforgiving and so miserable
Why not just take a little bit of money and go back to your country? Yeah, and save the hassle
Yeah, and most people go you know what I actually I want to be with my family like being here is lonely
It's expensive and it kind of
This sucks. When you've got the government against you, I'm going to go ahead and take
you up on that offer.
And we would always lie about the money when they get there, right? Put in a little bag,
tie it up. Don't open it until you get there. Jamie, is this how your wife got you out of
Alaska?
That's a good point.
Compared to my divorce, this is an incredible deal.
I was asked to leave and I paid her.
That's a really great point, Grace.
$1,000 plus airfare is honestly more than I made at Philadelphia last weekend.
I feel like that's a pretty good deal.
Did you see the by the way isn't it do you remember what the how much they said it costs if they arrest if they do for I think it was like
It's a thousand if they self-deport and it's like 17,000 if we arrest them and I'm like let's get rid of these
$16,000 handcuffs. Yeah
There's gotta be there's gotta be a Democrats are calling it a bait and switch. Yes. Did you hear that?
Do you know where the phrase bait and switch came from? No, where I don't know. Oh
You're just asking me. Yeah, I thought maybe you knew. Yeah, but I could look it up
I'm sure that if I could probably Google search it. Why don't we do that right now?
We should I thought bait and switch was when you were touching yourself and use the other hand so it lasts longer
Jamie going blue tonight
You're going to lose those family audience gigs that you're so well known for.
Working blue, Jamie.
So Loftus, the program is called Project Homecoming.
Is that insensitive towards people like you who don't have a home to go back to?
It is, and that's why I'm suing.
Yeah, okay.
Right?
I'm trying to save up for a new shopping cart, maybe five or six coats I can wear in
I'm not getting a thousand dollars. No, I love this whole thing. I love this this whole plan
Because this is this is phase one of the big switch
Right, because it has to be a bait and switch.
This is like when the police tell you,
hey, you want tickets to the Super Bowl.
Come on down and pick them up.
That's exactly what this is.
How are you gonna get the thousand dollars?
You're like, I'm an illegal Senate to my house.
And then bang, they come get you.
You know, it's weird,
because they'll call me and go,
hi, we're coming to arrest you.
And I get really excited.
And then they give me tickets to a day.
Wait, I thought I was going to an old guy prison
where I get tossed around like an hors d'oeuvre tray.
But I got, I got half time seat, half time.
I don't even have a sports metaphor.
I just, I want this to be, this should be a game show.
Right?
Trump could host it.
It's like a deal or deportation, no deal.
Have Christy gnome as the hand model and he's like all right if you have a paper clip and a fake social security card
in your purse
We will deport you and give you $50,000 or you can get on what's on the other side of that wall. Yes
And door number one, door number two,
door number three, it could be a choice of countries.
I see this, Erin.
So if we work this out, this will be a lot of money,
but I guess it's worth it.
It is worth it.
It's a better stewardship of taxpayer dollars
because to Kennedy's point, chasing people down,
the average cost is $17,000 on deportation per person.
They get $1,000 to leave.
a ticket home and the opportunity to apply for legal immigrant status in the United States.
So, if you are willing to leave, you are still allowed to try and come back in legally. You
are not banished from the country. But if you break the laws, and we catch you.
You're not coming back.
So they can play, you know, play stupid games,
win stupid prizes.
This one at least you win a thousand bucks for.
Yeah.
You know what'd be great though,
is when it's in Kohl's cash.
Yes.
A thousand dollars in Kohl's cash.
It's like they're paying you to go.
Exactly.
Yeah, but they don't have a Kohl's in their country.
Yeah, that's the problem.
That's the bait and switch?
That's the thing.
That'll incite them to build Kohl's.
Yes.
Ha, ha, ha.
Yo, Kohl should do a thing around Christmas.
Kohl's in your stocking.
Oh yeah.
It just came up with that.
You can have that, Kohl's.
All right, coming up, a new way to greet the French.
Yeah.
What real?
An awkward linger with a Frenchman's finger.
Tonight in what really happened,
we dissect a meeting between Turkish President Erdogan
and French press Macron.
Watch as they share a tender moment
at a political summit in Albania.
There you go, Macron, who's standing,
goes in to grab Erdogan's right hand with his left.
Erdogan then clutches Macron's middle finger
and he won't let go, holding it for at least 12 seconds.
Many think it was Erdogan's way of showing dominance over Macron.
Who knows?
But luckily, we were able to get ahold of some new enhanced audio,
which gives us a clue to what was going on.
You know, the French do eat a lot of cheese,
so that's a common custom.
They would just walk up to people and say,
pull my finger.
Do you know that?
And they, which literally translated
in the original French sounds like,
whoopsy-pipsy.
I love this. This was great. This was this was an old-school power move, right?
Because Macron comes in there with the over-the-top, like they use car salesmen.
Yes, do that. They always come over the top and you got to do the reverse and
that's what watches nuts did from from the other countries like oh I'm gonna
grab you under here bitch now you're mine now we're doing the two-handed thing
Macron doesn't know what to do.
Pull away, pull away.
He is strong.
He is a strong man like my wife.
And then watch as nuts did the Cesar Milan.
He just kept the one, right?
How the, you had the must show dominant,
calm submissive state.
I hold you by the finger, calm submissive state.
Calm submissive, the energy, the energy comes through me
to the leash, Macron, he's not going to leave
until I let him leave, calm submissive state.
The dictator whisperer.
And you worked in PR, your strategist.
Was that a power play?
I don't know if it was a power play.
I honestly think, you know, Joe Biden
nimbled fingers so, you know,
Erdogan could give it a good hold.
And that crone, you know,
really couldn't free his own finger in that.
I don't think it was a power move.
Erdogan looked detached almost the entire time,
giving you like a Joe Biden not in the room stare.
And so I don't know if he forgot
that he was holding Erdogan's finger,
but boys are ridiculous.
If that is a power move,
is to hold another dude by the finger,
boys remain ridiculous at any age.
Kennedy, you know what I love?
Hello.
You.
Aww.
We'll be right back.
I thought you were going to say dark chocolates
and a good salt scrub.
No, I like Turkish names.
Yeah.
Turkish names are great.
They sound like retarded Wheel of Fortune puzzles.
You know what I mean?
They're like multiple syllables with like-
Like mumlat regerbet.
Yes!
That's Turkish.
I've just made it up.
Yes.
What do you think's going on there?
I got two theories here, they might be competing.
Number one, Emmanuel Macron went up and was like,
you know, president of the one in France,
we give the prostate exam with this finger.
Later, maybe you've been over,
I give you the old Joe Biden.
And he was like, not right now, you mother trucker.
I'm going to hold you down, I'm going to give you pain.
He was holding his finger going, Emmanuel, you come to Turkey, you get the hair transplant or I've never let you go.
Because that's where men go to get hair transplant.
That is true.
And he's got the baloney patch on the back of his hand, Emmanuel does.
Jamie, have you considered going to Turkey for a hair transplant?
A hundred percent.
You have, haven't you?
Yeah, it's $8,000.
100%, I actually have an e-mail on my phone right now.
I wish all that was true.
This was, I actually had this,
a woman do this to me after sex once
and she would not let go until the payment went through.
And I guess they don't get many discover cards.
And...
This is definitely a palm move and I hate this man.
I remember when my son was 10 days old,
he tried to pull this.
I was like, not today, pal.
You know what I mean?
The counter move, by the way, you tickle the palm.
That's how you get over.
You tickle the palm.
That's what you do.
Remember that when you were a kid?
You shake hands and you tickle the palm with your finger
and that was supposed to be some kind of secret code?
Yes, I do.
This is the gayest thing I've seen today.
And I don't have a son this afternoon.
I don't know. I don't know what's going on.
I've been thinking about this for days now, since it happened.
And the only thing I'm thinking is that, in Turkey,
I think that they like finger food.
Oh. And that he wanted to eat his finger.
I feel like if he had done this to Biden,
Biden would now only have nine fingers.
Yeah.
He's a finger collector.
He was saying, let me get your digits.
Tonight, and should we be concerned, a new survey shows that 47% of Gen Zers, people
in their late teens, you know what that is, to late 20s have lied on their resume.
I go to you first, Kennedy.
Is this really surprising?
Did you lie on your resume?
to get to Fox?
No, I haven't had a resume since I was like 18
when I was interning at the radio station.
Yeah.
And I was so broke, I hand wrote it
in like crappy calligraphy.
Yeah.
And you know, the only way I got a job was, well.
You we know.
The old fashioned way.
Let's just say I went through my own prostate exam
back in 1990.
You don't really need a resume you haven't needed a resume for decades Michael. You don't you don't have a home
You can't have an address if you get to go to the job. They can't call you anywhere
No, live it that you go. What do you say write down salvation army, right? That's that's my resume
This is my resume
Hey, they admit lying on the road. How dumb are these kids? Yeah, right?
We're not gonna make it as a country if you're this
The deceitful and honest about it. Yeah, right? You got to pick a lane. Yeah, right?
Everybody lies on their resume. You just don't say you lie on your resume
And these people, they tell the truth on a dumb survey.
Did you lie?
I lied on it.
That's a place to lie.
Yes.
Whenever you get a survey, lie your butt off.
I'm like, I'm gonna vote for Kamala Harris.
I'm a big supporter.
Yes.
Every time they called,
I'm throwing off the polls, baby.
Yeah, that's exactly what I did.
By the way, I remember lying on my resume.
I said I could drive a stick.
Me too, but it was a different kind of stick.
Jamie, you've been in the comedy world for what now?
30, 40, 50 years.
Kind of sad and depressing when you think about it.
But when was the last time you actually sent out a resume
or presented a resume?
So I don't remember.
I lost this 100% right.
47% admitting to lying means like close to 100, right?
If you lie on a resume, why would you not lie on the survey?
But I lied once.
I got asked to do, when I started doing comedy,
I had 20 dirty minutes.
Like it was like filthy when you start,
when you started, I still, I'm still filthy.
But they asked me to do an hour clean at a corporate and I
go I camp and they go it's $1000 now I got you I'll do it
and I lied and I did it and it was like one of the worst shows
I've ever had in my life so I think you get in trouble fly
and you know me I'm like a professional I could detect
liars because I was my my ex-wife was quite a liar. I remember
one time she goes she goes if you don't believe me give me a
polygraph and I gave her one and she passed it but during the
polygraph she said she did sleep with a bunch of guys.
That's a funny joke, and they didn't appreciate it.
Aaron, can you tell when someone's lying on a resume?
I have some tells.
I mean, you generally can, especially working in comms, if you don't know how to write a
press release, if you don't know how to interact with a reporter, if you don't know the difference
off the record, on the record, deep background, background.
Those are pretty easy tells.
That was my nickname in college, Deep Background.
Not Whipsy Pupsy?
Yeah, no, Whipsy Pupsy was my other nickname.
Whipsy Pupsy was my safe word.
Oh.
Then why were you acting so surprised to hear it early?
I never hear it here on the set.
way to throw it back in my face.
I think that it's not surprising to see
that they would embellish on their resumes
or lie at a younger age.
You don't necessarily have the experience,
but these are also the generation coming out of COVID.
So they might not actually have any of that experience
because how many of them actually had high school jobs
like most people do.
Yeah, you know what I always notice
when I look at resumes is that every candidate
always led the project.
You know they always there's no one ever says I was like I was just one of the people in this thing
They always led the price and there's all these action verbs that I'd like do you remember using words like you know
formulated achieved
Executed implemented oversaw spearheaded. It just means you showed up for work and you weren't fired
But you have to realize like to Aaron's point
The kids who are applying now, they live on social media
where everything has a filter.
And so for them, that's a filter.
Embellishing for them is a filter.
It's just a slightly better version
than what they actually have.
And they're all using chat GPT to formulate their resumes.
And every resume reading software program is based on AI.
So there are no humans interacting with each other
when they're getting dropped.
That's amazing.
We're just cut out of the picture.
I can't wait to interview robots.
No drinking on the job.
What that means?
WD-40. I smell WD-40 on you.
Don't go away, we'll be right back.
Jamie Lissau, Aaron Whipty, Pope C. McGuire, Michael Larf does.
Kennedy, studio at Xbox News, United States, I'm Greg Gatfeld.
I love you, America.